Stronger Than Stone
by Dorkness Rising
Summary: Reposted by sort-of-popular demand. Nami's first birthday among her new crew finds her depressed rather than celebrating. But in times like these, comfort often comes from the most unlikely of places. Sanji/Nami friendship.


Disclaimer: I own not, you sue not.

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Stronger Than Stone

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_"C'mon, Nami! Make a wish!"_

_"You both get to make one, y'know."_

_Nojiko smiled, looking up at her. "Doesn't matter. We make the same wish every year."_

_"And what wish is that?"_

_"We can't tell you! Or it won't come true!"_

_Bellemere chuckled, looking back to Nami. "Tch...forgot about that. But you'd better make your wish fast before your pancakes get cold."_

_She and Nojiko smiled, closing their eyes for a moment. When they opened them again, Bellemere smirked. "Happy Birthday, girls. Dig in!"..._

A sharp beam of moonlight sliced through her dream like a fillet knife. She shuddered awake, shielding her eyes with an arm. Even for nighttime, the moon hung bright enough to make it seem like noon. Only with a different color scheme. Her room had a ghostly blue wash to it, shadows hiding behind the drapery and clinging to the shelves of her bookcase. She pushed out of bed, glancing at the calendar.

July third. _Happy Birthday to me._ It was an empty assertion. No birthday since the day Arlong conquered her village had been happy. It only served to remind her how many years he'd stolen from her. Eight, to be precise. He wasn't around to steal any more, but that didn't lift the dark cloud that hung over the occasion. He'd stolen Bellemere, and that was more than enough.

Dawn was far away, judging by the stars this time of year, but she was too awake to go back to sleep. Her first birthday out of Arlong's clutches, and she couldn't be more depressed. What the hell was there to be happy about? Freeing her village couldn't bring back her mother. Couldn't make the last eight years of her life disappear. Couldn't wave a magic wand and make everything ok.

She looked up at the framed picture on her bar. All three of them smiling. As if nothing bad would ever happen in their sleepy village. They might not have the most luxurious life raising oranges, but the crop would always be enough to put food on the table. They would always be happy, no matter what.

Such different people. From a different time. Before things got complicated.

The sky began to lighten in the east, and the familiar chill of approaching dawn made her shiver. If she could just get through today... The thought was daunting. How could she act cheerful when all she wanted to do was crawl back into bed and never come out?

She pulled her robe tighter about her shoulders, looking out the porthole. The stars had begun to disappear, one by one, and the first sliver of orange sun rose above the water. Her stomach growled, and she hoped Sanji was awake and starting breakfast as usual. The thought of having to endure the usual morning shenanigans today of all days made her shoulders hunch. She preferred her misery sans company.

But since she wasn't going to get her way about it, there was nothing to do but get dressed and have some food. She did so, choosing a t-shirt, skirt, and her old beat-up sandals to throw on before heading up to the lounge.

She froze in the doorway.

_"Happy birthday, Nami!"_

This had to be another dream. Everyone was awake. Including Zoro. And he didn't look ready to snap someone over his knee. On the contrary, he had a bottle of rum in his hand and his trademark, slightly tipsy smirk. Each of them smiled, as if they had everything in the world to be happy for today. Her mask of a grin answered them, determined not to saddle them with her confounded issues.

"Our Birthday Goddess deserves only the best on her special day." Sanji announced, setting her breakfast in front of her.

"Shouldn't that be 'birthday girl'?" she corrected.

"Nonsense! 'Girl' is too crude a word to describe a beauty of your calibre."

She shook her head. There was no sense arguing with him when it came to gratuitous compliments. If he wished to be her male cheerleader, there wasn't much she could do about it. With a forced smile to hide the sigh of resignation, she lifted the cover from her plate. Words stuck in her throat as she stared at it, the smile frozen on her lips.

Pancakes. _Orange_ pancakes.

_Sanji, I fucking hate you._

"A special treat for a special lady." He leaned down, resting a hand on her shoulder with an almost blissful grin. She swallowed, nodding as she fought to keep her voice even.

"Thank you."

Apparently, the cook had made everyone else wait on her, for they emptied their plates in record time while she forced hers down despite her ravenous stomach. The pancakes themselves were perfect, light and fluffy and smothered in butter, whipped cream, and sweet, tangy orange syrup.

_Just like hers..._

But then, she expected nothing less from the best of the East Blue.

She could still hear the sizzle of an antique skillet. See her flipping the cakes with a well-practiced arm. Red hair knotted like a creeper vine from sleeping, and her cigarette burned down to her lips.

_"All the other kids get big cakes on their birthdays! Why can't we have one?"_

_"You do."_

_"Not pancakes! A real cake!"_

_"Because we don't have wood to spare for the oven. The trees aren't ready yet."_

_"But the lumberjack has some-"_

_"-And we don't have the money to buy it..."_

She tried to steal firewood from the lumberjack's shop that time and had nearly missed getting cloven in two by a whistling axe, mistaken for a feral animal in the darkness of the shed. She had never seen Bellemere so angry.

Not until the afternoon Arlong arrived.

Her throat felt tight as she crammed another piece of pancake down her throat, trying not to look as sick as she felt. _C'mon, a pancake is a pancake._ Empty reassurance. As the others laughed and drank and smiled around her, it drained away any incentive she might have had to join them.

But as with all mealtimes on the _Going Merry_, breakfast lasted only as long as the food did. And with a crew like hers, that wasn't long at all. The table broke up quickly as everyone finished eating, leaving her as the lone straggler and Sanji to wash up the dishes. She brought hers to the counter, hoping to turn away before her face darkened.

"Nami-san?"

No such luck. She lifted her chin a little, but didn't face him. "Yes?"

"Something wrong?"

Her eyes found a whorl in the floor to stare at. "No. M'fine." _As fine as I ever am on my birthday._

He smiled, turning the water on to rinse the dishes. "What do you want me to make you for dinner tonight?"

"Dinner? We just finished breakfast."

That familiar gleam caught in his eye whenever he talked of his trade. "Ahhh, but a chef is always concerned with the next meal, even before he finishes the first one."

"Is food all you ever think about?"

His voice sunk to a softer, knowing tone. "Not always."

She quelled the tiny shiver that crept up her back.

"So what would you like for dinner? Since it _is_ your birthday."

Her smile faded. "Surprise me."

With that, she left the lounge, heading back below decks to her room. The framed picture greeted her like it always did, but on this day it fairly beckoned her to the bar. A day which Bellemere might have deemed "right for drinking."

After all, it was _her_ birthday.

She pulled out a shot glass and a bottle of Wild Turkey, and poured herself a double. Straight up. With a sigh, she raised the glass.

"To freedom."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Dinner was one of those occasions where she wondered whether they had driven her too crazy to throw them all overboard.

Luffy had insisted on rewriting the lyrics of "Happy Birthday" to something about pirates and meat, while Usopp tested out something he called a firework, but resembled more of a triggerless gun. Zoro groaned as if he had a throbbing migraine, while Sanji looked on with wry amusement.

He didn't disappoint come dinnertime. Champagne crab cakes, herring topped with olive oil, garlic, and shredded mozzarella, and for dessert, a tiramisu that she guessed he'd been saving for such an occasion. It was far too rich for everyday.

She still didn't know where she put it all. Or how she had managed to force it down passed the thickness in her throat, if only to avoid stupid questions. Just a few more hours and today would be over. She could let down the mask in her room and be as sulky as she pleased.

But of course, that would have to wait until after tea.

The other three couldn't be bothered, but she and Sanji had made a ritual of evening tea. Usually green, but sometimes she would ask for one of his more exotic blends if she was feeling particularly adventurous. He had quite a selection: rose hip, spring cherry, sage and citrus, black with peach, spice, clover, and others that he'd never told her the names of, but she recognized by scent. It was safe to say he was appreciative of the drink, if not a connoisseur.

Tonight, she felt daring as a hermit crab.

"And what would the Birthday Goddess like this evening?" Sanji asked, preparing the water. She looked down at the table, fingering a small knot in the wood.

"Just some green."

He smiled. "Of course, Nami-san." The familiar buzzing of the kettle on its burner comforted her a bit, and she turned to look outside at terns dipping into the water for a meal. The thought of foregoing her nightly engagement for once crossed her mind, but she abandoned it. No doubt it would look strange, and she didn't wish to explain herself to anyone. Especially Sanji.

"Are you feeling all right?"

Her gaze snapped away from the porthole. "Erm...Sure. What makes you think I'm not?"

"It's your birthday, and you haven't smiled all day."

"What do you mean? I've been smiling."

He shook his head, measuring out the cups. "You've been faking. Not smiling."

_Busted._

"Don't feel like smiling..." she mumbled, watching the tiny lantern flicker on the table.

He frowned. She could feel his eyes on her. "You're far too young to worry about aging, Nami-san. Time could only make you more beautiful."

She didn't know whether to laugh at how wrong he was, or be insulted. "S'not that."

"Then what's the matter?"

"Bellemere-san..."

It slipped past before she could stop it. Her mouth snapped shut like a pair of tongs, and a cold shudder ran down her back. Now she'd done it.

The tense silence turned minutes into years. Maybe if he knew she really was a human just like everyone else, he might finally lose interest. She knew she should be glad to have him stop following her like an overexcited puppy, but she couldn't bring herself to be happy about it.

The kettle whistled to life, startling her. He moved to pour the tea, a nervous frown on his face.

"I know."

She looked up, blinking. "What?"

He attempted a smile. "There's nothing wrong with missing someone you love."

_Wanna talk about it?_ He hadn't asked, but she felt the implied question. Up to now, she only trusted Luffy to talk about Bellemere with. Perhaps because he'd seen her at her worst. Perhaps because he seemed too simple to understand what was going on, and therefore couldn't judge her either way.

The others were different. They would understand. They could judge. And that scared her. Fearless Navigator, lonely child. The sea was no place for the weak - especially weak women - and damned if the rest of them didn't know it.

_That is, if they ever come to know in the first place._

No doubt Zoro and Usopp were already asleep. It was just her and Sanji. And for some reason she had yet to pin down, that made her both uneasy and relieved.

_Oh come off it. You're stronger than this._ There was no harm in talking as long as she kept her head. After all, this was Sanji, and damned if he didn't worship the deck she walked on.

"Eight years..." she murmured after a deep breath. "The last birthday Bellemere-san was alive for."

His smiled softened. "What was she like?"

The tightness in her throat began to relax, much to her surprise. But at the same time, her words dried to a thin trickle. "She loved life. And family. And getting us out of trouble." Her lips curved into a sad smile. "She always offered Gen-san her body to fluster him."

He chuckled. "Sounds like quite a character."

"Oh she was. She would make wine out of the oranges that were too small to sell."

"Ah! So that's where Nami-san gets her respect for the spirits from!"

She laughed in spite of herself. "Mandarin wine is pretty potent stuff." A sigh passed her lips. "She loved cooking. Even with the little we had, she always found a new way to dress it up so that Nojiko and I wouldn't complain..." She looked up, and for the first time that night, her smile turned genuine. "She would've liked you."

He grabbed the sugar bowl from a cabinet above the stove, turning to smile back at her. "I would have loved to meet her."

The smile faded as she looked back at the table. "I miss her. Even now that Arlong's gone..." Her voice sunk to a low whisper. "It won't bring her back..."

"Who says it must?"

She looked up, blinking. He answered it with a smile. "It's over. It's done. You have no debt left to pay, no one to answer to. It won't make everything go away just like that, but...you can move on, now. Make new, happy memories to take the place of the painful ones as they fade. You can have faith in yourself, now that you're free."

Her hand froze on the table as he took the steeped tea leaves out of the water, a sting of bitterness twisting in her chest. "Time heals all wounds, ne?"

He shook his head. "Time heals nothing if the wounds go untreated. They become more painful as they fester."

She scowled at a particularly ugly whorl in the wood. "And the longer you wait to treat them, the harder it is to finally do so..."

"But it's never impossible."

"How so?"

"Because faith is stronger than stone."

She snapped up, a sudden pang searing through her chest at his words. So much like Bellemere's. Even the way he stood, hands at work mixing sugar in the two cups of tea, his cigarette burned to a barely discernible stub, weight resting on his left hip. His eyes glinted in the moonlight, a tiny half-smile curving his lips.

The expression was unmistakeable. She sucked in a breath, feeling her throat and chest tighten. _Bellemere-san..._

Everything went still. Time itself stopped moving, cut them off from the rest of reality. She couldn't breathe. Couldn't look away. Not even as he turned that knowing, gentle smile on her.

"Maybe she sent me."

A shiver ran down her spine, but she didn't move. He arranged the cups and saucers on the tea tray, bringing it to the table with his usual grace. Handing one to her, he smiled again.

"Those we love never really leave us. They want to make sure that we're safe. That we're all right." His smile broadened as he sat down. "I know she'd want you to be happy."

Her hands trembled, and she curled them into tiny fists to make them stop. "Then I shouldn't be missing her so much."

He shook his head. "You can miss her as much as you like."

"And on my birthday of all days." She swallowed. "I never celebrated it after she died. I had nothing to celebrate..."

He folded her ice-cold fingers between his warm ones. "You do now."

He was right. She had family. She had her _nakama._ She had freedom.

She didn't notice his arms drawing her close. Not until her cheek pressed into the hollow of his shoulder, warm and sheltering. "You're not alone anymore, Nami-san. And you never will be. We'll always be here, whenever you need us."

She smiled. "Thank you."

"It's my pleasure."

They stayed like that for a long while, her watching the steam curling from the two cups of tea dwindle and cease. He smoothed her hair, giving her a tiny squeeze and a light chuckle. "Your tea is getting cold, you know."

She slid from his arms, lifting her cup to her lips. Sanji smiled at her over the rim, about to take a sip. She looked up for a moment, then back at her tea.

"How about a toast?"

He arched a brow. "With tea?"

She nodded. "Why not?"

He smiled. "Of course, Nami-san."

A grin spread across her lips as they both raised their teacups.

"To freedom."

They clinked and drank, and she set her cup down and turned to the porthole. The stars shone bright above the horizon, moonlight glistening on the water. The terns had moved further off, into tiny black specs against an even darker night sky. She smiled.

_Thank you, Bellemere-san._

The End


End file.
